One of my favorite movies is on. This winter break has been very productive, in the most unlikely way. An observer would see that I have done "nothing" this break...I have layed in bed 80% of the time, surfing teh interwebs, watch tv all day...man, I seem like such a bum. But I promise it is not true! I am merely preserving (and regaining) what sanity I have left after the brutal and arduous work of the past semester. Fashion is not glamorous, when you are on the desiging side...

2.5 of 3 years completed of the program; I've always been comfortable with my own company, and always on the slight anti-social side. But since I've immersed myself in schoolwork (it is mandatory to do that in this program), I have to wonder-- will I ever be social again? I want to be, but now I feel social anxiety or just plain apathy when it comes to social situations. When the rare opportunity arises to be social, I would rather stay home for some down time. If you knew the school workload, you would understand. And I understand this. But when the end of the 3 years is over, what will I be like? Will I be happy and make new friends after a month long hibernation and deprogramation? I really want to believe that one day I will have new friends, but I don't think it will be easy...which is a contradiction to the whole friendship thing, in my eyes. Friends shouldn't be more of a task and obligation than it is a joy...alas.

On this break, I've been reading someone's blog that gives a lot of "happiness" tips and whatnot. It reminds me of my younger self, when I had more energy, and my ambitious was not blinded by my anxiety and fear of failing in the "real" world. However, her articles make me hopeful, hopeful that I can be successful in this world because I will make it happen....