It has been quite a few days, but I am still going and do not plan to abandon this humble blog. I've been working on my senior collection ideas, and tomorrow is the day we finalize what we are doing. I'm feeling very confident about my designs, I'm gonna have a great collection!

In other fashion related business, I purchased a small handbag from TJ Maxx for 9.99, and I'm going to put some studs on it and make it super cool. Pics later!

Small tidbits of inspirational eye-candy, in the form of icons....

I found some photos of the construction of a dress I made in probly...February of last year. The fabric is soooo bad and not my first choice, but I was running out of time and they didn't have enough of the one I wanted to use. I was happy with the construction and design, though. :)

This was the finished product.

I would usually not use red, but this was for an American Heart Association charity fashion show.

Secretly I am a dreamer and perhaps even an optimist towards myself. But that is covered up by working 20 hours a week, 12 hours worth of classes, constantly working on fashion projects, worrying about money, bills, life, relations, broken things, body image, food, and anything else one could get sweeped up in everyday life. I'm so so SO afraid that I might not be that good at what I do, and that no one will want to hire me, and I just wasted 7 years of my life. But now that I've been on winter break, I'm feeling a bit more like I can make it. And I will make it because I will work hard at doing it. See...there's where that optimism and dreamer comes out.

I'm actually getting randomly inspired by things, which is where some of the dreamer comes in. I feel like a have a new direction for my personal aesthetic. And when I look like I want to, I feel ten times better, in general, like the weight has been lifted (if even slightly).

However, this grandeur image is not realistic when there is lack of sleep and constant work. But I will make a secret New Year's Resolution (I don't believe in doing this usually, ha) to wear something other than jeans all the time...dresses and skirts, in a casual manner. There it is, totally depthless seeming, but I need to do something so I stay sane and feel good and don't implode.

Here are some images from my research I've done so far. I'm feeling good, and feeling confident about this...it's gonna be a stressful semester, so feeling good and recharged now is a must! My camera is in my apartment, and I am in my parent's house til next week, so I can't post any photos of my sketching progress yet, boo hoo :(

Goals for the Spring Semester

I need to log my financial and all around goals for the semester...it's a good habit! Look at me, I'm becoming more and more organized, yay!

Beginning of the semester:

• Pay off credit card
• Finally buy Adobe CS4 (!!!)
• Organize bedroom closet
• Make at least 2 new croquis
• Finish winter assignment (of course)
• Sell some clothes to Plato's Closet, use the money towards fabric and trims

Entire Semester:

• Create a kick ass senior collection
• Make an optimum use of my Pilates class
• Don't eat out as much:
• Make a fresh loaf of bread weekly
• Eat either bread or homemade muffins for breakfast
• Bring lunch to campus!!

One of my favorite movies is on. This winter break has been very productive, in the most unlikely way. An observer would see that I have done "nothing" this break...I have layed in bed 80% of the time, surfing teh interwebs, watch tv all day...man, I seem like such a bum. But I promise it is not true! I am merely preserving (and regaining) what sanity I have left after the brutal and arduous work of the past semester. Fashion is not glamorous, when you are on the desiging side...

2.5 of 3 years completed of the program; I've always been comfortable with my own company, and always on the slight anti-social side. But since I've immersed myself in schoolwork (it is mandatory to do that in this program), I have to wonder-- will I ever be social again? I want to be, but now I feel social anxiety or just plain apathy when it comes to social situations. When the rare opportunity arises to be social, I would rather stay home for some down time. If you knew the school workload, you would understand. And I understand this. But when the end of the 3 years is over, what will I be like? Will I be happy and make new friends after a month long hibernation and deprogramation? I really want to believe that one day I will have new friends, but I don't think it will be easy...which is a contradiction to the whole friendship thing, in my eyes. Friends shouldn't be more of a task and obligation than it is a joy...alas.

On this break, I've been reading someone's blog that gives a lot of "happiness" tips and whatnot. It reminds me of my younger self, when I had more energy, and my ambitious was not blinded by my anxiety and fear of failing in the "real" world. However, her articles make me hopeful, hopeful that I can be successful in this world because I will make it happen....

I've decided to go ahead and express the anxiousness I feel about *gasp* my senior collection. The upcoming spring semester will be my last in the journey of my bachelors degree. I've been in school forever. It's been quite a journey. And I want my final collection to be jaw-dropping. Do I have it in me? I hope so...For the winter break, we (our class) are assigned to do research on our inspiration for the collection. For mine, I've picked Post-Apocalypse; think Mad Max, Tank Girl, Terminator. Have of me feels really good about it, although this is the very early stages...just rough sketches and whatnot. I'm going to log my progress on here! Yay!

Besides doing research for fashion, I've been putting in some awesome full days of resting and leisure. And to be perfectly honest, I'm excited to be blogging again..but my blog is so tiny and new...I just want to keep writing and writing and fill it with posts so it will grow to be big and strong. Besides, I haven't really logged and expressed what I've needed to be logging and expressing in a loooooong time...so it feels good!




(This is where I wanna be..)

"...a charter member in the fraternity of dreamers..."

(^^from The Twilight Zone)

Here is the continuation of the first post bonzanza... The bread is baked, and was as delicious as cinnamon raisin bread could be (it's not my favorite). A Twilight Zone marathon has been on all day yesterday and today, so I've been in bed all day watching it. It's been a good day. I've got many creatived ideas flowing through my head, and have also been doing online research...my eyeballs feel as if they will pop out at any moment.

I also began a crochet project, although I'm not sure what it will turn out to be. I used to knit a few years ago, and haven't really done much since. I only made scarved when I knitted, too, (ha) so it's not like I've ever been amazing. My grandma taught me to crochet when I was little, and this is the first time since then I've picked it back up. The idea of crocheting a blanket interests me as of right now...it's rather cold here and it would be fun to have one to throw around. Sooooo maybe my little crocheted circle can be the beginning of a blankie.

I don't want my blog to have a too horribly boring start, so here is a photograph of Times Square I took with my phone a while ago.

A New Captain's Log

I have done quite a bit of blogging in the past. But these last few year...I have not...and I miss it terribly. So today is the start of a new year and a new blog. But instead of making it about my relations with other people and the general gossipy-ness of my younger days' blog, I am going to remain anonymous and not talk about anyone I know personally (unless it makes for a good story).

I will start by discussing the amazing new contraption I recieved for Christmas: a super-deluxe awesome bread maker! My first loaf of bread is in the works as we speak...it will be Cinnamon Raisin. Hoo-rah.